You may find that big changes in your life—like a move to a retirement residence— can stir up a mixture of emotions that can make you feel a bit off-balance, even when the change is a positive one. The degree to which a move or other change can feel disruptive varies greatly from person to person. Some of us regain our mental equilibrium very quickly, while others go through a longer process of adaptation.
The good news is there are things we can we do to lessen the impact of a major change and speed up regaining our equilibrium. Below are some tips to help you navigate a life transition with less disruption to your emotional balance.
Self-reflect
You can start by asking yourself what you did in the past that helped you feel better when you experienced a major change. Likely there were things that gave you comfort, reduced your stress, and helped you adapt more quickly. You can use those strategies as touchstones as you go through this and other transitions in your life.
Feel and express your emotions
When there’s a major change in your life, it’s important to allow yourself to feel all of the mixed emotions that bubble up. If you are moving into a retirement residence, perhaps you feel sadness over things you are leaving, excitement about the convenience and freedom your new lifestyle will bring, and perhaps a little uncertain about what is to come. You’ll find when you allow yourself to fully feel and express these mixed emotions, they will pass more quickly. What keeps those difficult emotions alive longer is when we try to avoid them at all cost. They become like a rubber ball we are struggling to hold under water, and which inevitably pops up to the surface!
Lean on trusted friends
说出我们的感受可能正是释放它们的方式。这就是为什么你要召集你的情感支持小组!当你度过艰难的一天时，你可以向这些人求助;他们会提醒你，你曾经经历过巨大的变化，并且茁壮成长，而且还会再次成长。并不是我们生活中所有重要的人都能提供这种支持。有些人会感到焦虑，如果我们谈论复杂的情绪或不确定的变化。相反，打电话给只会倾听和感同身受的人，而不是试图说服你走出你的感受。
Have some fun
Another tip to help you maintain your emotional balance during a big change is to go have some fun! You may be thinking, “Who has time for fun right now?”, but that’s exactly when you need it the most. Nothing restores our emotional equilibrium better than taking a break and having a laugh, or some time away from managing the change. Consider taking a bubble bath, meeting a friend for coffee or lunch, or going for a long walk. Spending a little time having fun on a regular basis will give you more energy to manage the details and the emotions of your life transition.
Take care of yourself
Don’t forget self-care when going through a big change! It can be more challenging during these times to make sure that we are getting enough rest, eating well and getting exercise, but all of these are necessary to maintain both our physical and emotional balance. It’s hard to be emotionally resilient when we are exhausted!
Rely on the familiar
Finally, focus on the things that aren’t going to change. Research has shown that when we recognize that a change—even a major one—doesn’t impact every area of our life, it can improve our resilience. For example, if you are moving into a retirement residence, you will still have the people and the pursuits you hold most dear after the move; that won’t change. Those major areas of consistency help us better manage the things that are changing.
If you are going through a major change, remember that you have been through changes in the past and thrived. And you can do it again! With a little attention to maintaining your emotional balance, you may even find this change is easier than those in the past, and that you settle into the next chapter of your life quickly and with a sense of adventure.
About Dr. Amy D’Aprix
Dr. Amy is a certified senior advisor, Vice President of the International Federation on Aging, and Co-Founder of the Essential Conversations Project. As a gerontological social worker, she has over thirty years of experience working with older adults and their families.